A small, scruffy looking youth wanders hopefully around the streets of Boldhome, clearly searching for something, someone or someplace. To the casual passer by he is nothing much, similar to the throngs of other less fortunates that inhabit the city but to those who look closely there is the fire of teenage optimism in his eyes, a look of quiet determination upon his face.
Then, suddenly, he stops.....outside of a large tent with a banner reading 'Army recruitment, join up here'. This seems the right place he thinks, exactly what I've spent the last 3 hours hunting down. Taking a deep breath he enters the tent......
"Errr...hello, is this where brave young men sign up to fight for King Argrath"?
"Yes, this is the recruiting post, the banner outside sort of gives it away!", remarks a tall, soldierly fellow who studies the newcomer with a less than impressive regard.
"Excellent, well I'd like to join please. The name's Broar....Broar Hofarson, my father is Colm, Colm the Cottar, well Colm the Destitute Cottar to be precise, you've heard of him"?
"My name is Mulgan Tremlat, Ten-Thane Tremlat to you and, No, I don't know any cottars lad, come to think of it I don't know any colliers, cowherders, cooks, couriers or carpenters either! Just soldiers, Officers and a few nobles. Now which regiment have you come to join"?
"Oh, is there more than one? I only know about the Royal Foot Guards so I'd like to join them please, where do I sign, is it this scroll here"?
"HA...HA HA HA.....HA HA HA HA HA......classic.....HA HA HA, quite the joker lad, you got me there I'll give you that! Chuckle...chortle....now, come on, seriously, which regiment is it to be"?
"No...no....honestly...the Royal Foot Guards, that's the boys for me. Look I've even brought my own weapon with me" At this point he reaches down to his belt and draws forth a polished fruit knife "This is 'Peeler'", he says proudly "Responsible for the skinning of numerous apples, plums and oranges next it'll be Trolls and those sneaky duck critters"
"Orlanth help us", groans the Thane "Now, look lad, the Royal Foot Guards are somewhat selective in their enlistment and, being brutally honest, that excludes you! If you want my advice I can point you in the direction of the very regiment suited to your....errr...capabilities"
"Oh, thank you very much Mr Thane sir, which one would that be"?
"Well, it just so happens I know this Commander and he has his own regiment that spends all of it's time fighting for blessed King Argrath, doesn't matter the season, doesn't matter the weather, regardless of enemy you'll find these lads right in the thick of the action. Whats more I'm sure they'll even give you a spear and a helmet too, plus you'll get paid as well, I'm guessing you're a bit short of funds"?
"I'm fine sir, I've got 20 lunars, but thanks for asking and I guess when I start pillaging those enemy cities I'll soon be rich beyond my dreams I could like get 200 or maybe 300 lunars! So, this regiment then it sounds just the one for me, I'll sign immediately"
"Splendid young fellow, I'm sure you'll not regret it (snigger) and welcome to the Kings Army"!
"Oh, just before I go I better know who it is I'm joining...this regiment, does it have a name"?
"Silly me, did I forgot to mention it, tsk tut, they're called.....Loser Lamarr's Luckless Levies"!
A new recruit!
A new recruit!
Torben Dungshuvler
An unfortunate pawn in the hands of the Gods
![💩](//cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/twitter/twemoji@latest/assets/svg/1f4a9.svg)
An unfortunate pawn in the hands of the Gods