Dear Deputy, Unharmonious Goings-on!

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Dear Deputy, Unharmonious Goings-on!

Post by Broaranna »

To: Insterda Jarlvasdaughter
Deputy of Public Harmony

Dear Deputy,

I am turning to you as a fellow woman here in Boldhome, a woman of standing and important Office, to bring to your attention some distinctly unharmonious happenings.....happenings against us Hofars by a number of unsavoury types who are, no doubt, part of some organised conspiracy against the Hofar family.

You see only this Season I was turned away by several of the City's money lenders, upon the spurious - and I suspect illegal - grounds that several of my relatives have outstanding loans and until these are paid I can be advanced no credit!! If that wasn't bad enough they also demanded my credentials, whatever that means, something to prove who I am as several of them were openly sniggering and making fun of me, muttering derogatory comments about the shape of my bosom and the fact that my legs were too hairy. Such crass and unkind talk can be very unsettling and hurtful to a lady as fragile and sensitive as I, it's not my fault that one of my knockers is bigger than the other one and I've already told people that our family has some Mostali blood in it so that's why the women have hairier legs than usual. I'm just glad they didn't go on about my voice as well, the only reason it's somewhat deep is that I have a bit of an ongoing cold that I can't shake off.

If all of the above is not bad enough that jumped up snob Quatlu Carasilson has said that no Hofars are allowed to join the Royal Foot Guards. That's not fair is it, they could do with a decent healer yet this upstart is denying me and my (many) other relatives the right to become a part of the regiment.

Anyway, good Deputy, us girls need to stick together in the face of such misogyny and injustice so I am hoping that you could arrest Quatlu Carasilson unless he rescinds the ban and that you also tell the Money Lenders Trade members to relax the ruling that I can't have a 1100 lunars loan. If you can do this I'll be most grateful and I'll ensure you have free medical care for life as well as complimentary statue of Chalana Arroy PLUS a lucky 'Pavis Protection Pendant', just in from a Trading caravan out of that legendary City itself. These beauties are 'pucker stuff', the 'Bees knees', some say, and guaranteed to guard you against any magical spells cast by either Chaos or Troll Priest types. I've only got the one at the moment and I can let it go for 175 lunars to you.

Hope to hear back from you about the arrest and when I can go and collect my loan, 1100 lunars remember, don't let them try and reduce it.

Best wishes etc

Broaranna Hofarsdaughter
Chalana Arroy Initiate
An Aide to someone or other
Regimental Healer to the Twin Spears Regt (but it should be the Royal Foot Guards)

P.S Can I just add that I think that Evil Erik Starkraving fellow is also involved in all this anti Hofar business so can you arrest him too please, in fact best to arrest him first, before that Quatlu, as he's probably the ringleader.
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