My dear friends,
In advance of my rise to the exalted rank of Initiate in the lovely, nice and peaceful cult of Chalana Arroy I have decided to demonstrate my devotion to the blessed mother by offering an exclusive 'Resurrection Package' for any who are wise enough to accept it.
Yes, no more need you fear death, be it either unexpected or otherwise, as good old Broar will be able to bring you back! Once the blessed mother has opened her ears to me, a future High Priest (and Deputy of Public Harmony as you can do both you know!), I can intercede upon your behalf and, with her indulgence, restore you to life! Now, you can't find that with your Orlanthi, your Yelmalians or your Storm Bull types for tis only the devotees of Chalana Arroy who can do this for you.
So, I hear you say, that sounds wonderful Broar but what's the cost? Something as magnificent as this must surely cost several hundred lunars?! Normally I'd agree with you BUT it's me you're dealing with, kind, generous, sensitive Broar a man focused upon helping others and not simply hacking them to pieces because someone....say, like that Evil Erik bloke.....thinks they looked at them in a funny way!
My offer is this -
I will use my position as a Chalana Arroy devotee and Initiate to call for you to be resurrected in the event of your untimely or expected death. Now, I appreciate this comes with the slight risk that the blessed mother might be particularly busy on that day and may, therefore, not hear my entreaties BUT if this happens and you don't get resurrected then, no problem, I promise to give you your money back ok, you can't say fairer than that and I'll even add 10% to it as interest for your troubles.
In return I ask you -
To invest with me the bargain sum of....and get ready for it, because this is a real bargain here.....a mere 75 lunars!! You couldn't even buy a horse or a weeks training for that meagre amount!
All you need do to sign up is get the lunars to me asap, I can be contacted via the Scribbled Scroll or the Chalana Arroy Temple. Just ask for Broar Hofarson as everyone knows me there, what with me being very popular with the regulars and my fellow cult members.
I look forward to hearing from you.....remember, there is nothing more sacred than life, once it's gone that's it, game over BUT with Broar on your side you can live forever....and all just for 75 lunars!!
Advertised on behalf of "Hofarson Health and Healing" the business that keeps on giving.
Wonderful news.....sign up for Resurrection aid!
Wonderful news.....sign up for Resurrection aid!
Torben Dungshuvler
An unfortunate pawn in the hands of the Gods
![💩](//cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/twitter/twemoji@latest/assets/svg/1f4a9.svg)
An unfortunate pawn in the hands of the Gods